i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
