You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Randomize
