when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Randomize