that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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