I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
My pussy is not your playground.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize
