I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
