the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
