VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
