Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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