Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
handjob tips. give me some.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
