Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
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