so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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