How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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