i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
