I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
