so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
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He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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