i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Sober January is a disaster.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
