I wannas sexs uuuuu
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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