So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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