The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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