what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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