Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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