Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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