I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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