The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
the liver wants what the liver wants
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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