I think my vagina is haunted
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
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