His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
