it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
