Dual....:-)
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
