This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Randomize
