Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
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What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
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I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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