So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
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