is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
