I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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