I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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