drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
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