Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
