how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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