what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
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