your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
