My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
