I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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