they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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