God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
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