did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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