Where did you get a picture of my penis
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
