The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
