Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
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