Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
