i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I just found puke in my bra..
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
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