I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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