so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
soo... how was my night?
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