1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize