If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
