Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
