why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
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