What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
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