Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
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thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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