She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
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Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
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My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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