Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize