whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
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